She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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