Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
