Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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