just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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