turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
