i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Who did Billy Mays play for?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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