I love black thongs
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
