you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize