420 ftw
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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