You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
