you didnt know i had herpes?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Holy sore nipples Batman
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
