He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
