May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
