how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
