I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The power of my boobs compel you
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize