Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
