We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
