Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
