So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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