rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
