he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize