Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
