I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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