I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize