I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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