Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Randomize
