"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
