So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
