The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
