If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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