you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Damn victory sex feels great
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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