I look better un-naked...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
