Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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