When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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