Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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