Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
