Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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