the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
