Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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