I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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