There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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