can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
