Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
