Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize