He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
