I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
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