So drunk its hurt
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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