wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
