nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize