I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
