spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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