Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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