The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
