i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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