Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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