woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We talked him into tasing himself.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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