she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
