nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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