Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Randomize
