So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
