i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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