Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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