She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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