The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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