Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
