Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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