Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
