haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
