They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
third nipple confirmed
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
